Being Unconditional and Independent

So far throughout my existence, I have tried to understand what is unconditional and if someone can experience it ever. Time and again, the only answer I ever received was my Mom. I claim myself to be super independent but deep down I always miss the pamper that my Mom showers on me. Any anger, frustration, love, sadness, happiness, content... she is always there to take it exactly the same way. These days, it's always give and take that I can sense but with her I can be selfishly just on the "take" side. But then as they say, You came into this world alone and so will you leave..

That brings us to "Independence"... Many a time you wish you did not have to do things by yourself but then you don't want interference either. You are happy as long as you are getting your things done but the moment there are questions around why, all you feel is humiliated, hostility and rising anger. That is when the assessment of setting the appropriate and right expectations becomes extremely vital. Why to expect and if at all from whom... and that is something only experiences can teach you. Trust me, you will have to take the baggage of failures here before you are headed right in your decision making.

Independence again is a two way... as much as you want your spirit and mind to have that thinking, so would the other person. And to me that is the most important realization to call oneself as being free. And now the issue arises that your thinking is in practicality knitted with someone else's thought process as well. Here comes another major learning in life that is who are important to us? And the minimum this number is, the maximum are the benefits in turn the satisfactory levels. A few people are born lucky to understand instantly if someone is reliable but for majority, constant evaluation is essential to become a pro at it. I belong to the latter by the way and I think my husband falls in the former category. Funnily so, our story took altogether a paradigm shift in its blooming days, however :-P

Of-late I see many people around taking peculiar decisions in the name of freedom. But I am not the one to judge them, for the one should know what is right or wrong. The most difficult situation is when you can't be sure if something is right or wrong in which case you are definitely dependent. It is always good to just take a stance. At least that is your decision and your mind and heart is convinced that it is what you want. Fickle mind would give peace to none and mostly importantly it only increases frustration.

One of my bosses (who I hated deeply :-P) once told me never to run away from tough times. I was like "ok dude". Come to think of it, running away would always make you carry guilt with apprehension. Facing the times gives you courage and the self belief which is one of the most important traits to be independent. 

Having said all the above, I still strive to be the one I explained above.. its a continuous learning.. being empathetic has always helped me understand and come through the situations that seemed like an impasse. After all there is a key and nothing is dead yet ;-)


Unknown said...

Hi. I really enjoyed my brief visit on your site and I’ll be sure to be back for more.
Can I contact you through email address?

Please email me back.


Divya Khanna said...

Sure, Kevin.. my id is

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